Most pastors I know will tell you one of the most difficult things they write regularly are their newsletter submissions to the local congregations they serve. There is always the question of what needs of the congregation to address, what of upcoming events to include, and what spiritual truth to share. For a congregation that has gone through the hopelessly painful process of discernment as to whether to remain a part of The United Methodist Church or not, the pastor’s focus is clear. Healing. How to go about it? That is the tougher question and one that will only be answered with time and effort.
I first of all want to acknowledge that there are those that are happy with the outcome, there are those who are devastated by the outcome, and there are those with every range of emotion in-between. I am truly sorry to all those who feel let down by the process or somehow slighted by me. My goal along with the South Carolina Annual Conference’s throughout this process was to approach the subject of disaffiliation with sensitivity to all sides while being clear that I feel called to remain United Methodist. I know some were extremely upset with how things were handled. I know others felt things went well. All I can say is nobody is perfect, and I did the best I could given the circumstances.
Regardless of whether you are happy Cokesbury is remaining United Methodist or not, we must acknowledge that we are all mourning on one level or another. Those that feel like they cannot remain United Methodist are mourning the loss of a local congregation they have called home for years if not decades. Those who are glad we are staying United Methodist are mourning the faces we no longer see on Sunday mornings.
Mourning is a process that is unique and different to each and every one of us in the same way we are all unique and different beings made in the image of God. For some of us, mourning the loss experienced over the last couple of months will take a good bit of time. For others, our mourning process may be much more abbreviated. Regardless of how you choose to mourn, as long as you are not harming yourself or harming someone else, do not let someone tell you you are mourning in the wrong way. If you are feeling stuck in your mourning process, please reach out to me or someone you trust to talk things through. My door is always open. I have never refused to sit down and talk with someone who wants to have a conversation, process, or reflect.
During this process I heard a lot of hurtful things that were said out of anger or fear (or both). To be afraid of the unknown is part of being human. It’s part of our DNA that is hard wired into us in order to help us to survive. Yet, as Christians, we are given instructions and assurances that our fears are not what should be motivating our actions. Through Jesus we are assured that God is with us and that God is out ahead of us in all that we encounter in life. I keep getting drawn back to Transfiguration Sunday where Jesus’ heavenly glory was revealed to Peter, James, and John on a mountaintop. God told them clearly to, “Listen to him!” This presence and proclamation by God caused the disciples to be afraid. Once again, fear is a natural response to that which we do not understand in the moment. The disciples response was natural. Jesus’ response is that of someone who genuinely loves his companions, and he tells them something they desperately need to hear. With a reassuring touch, he told them to “Get up,” and “Don’t be afraid” (Matthew 17:1-14).
Listening is something with do with our ears, but it is also something we do with our hearts. Jesus reacted to their fear with love. How do we listen to Jesus with our lives? We do it by checking in with ourselves constantly. Am I doing/saying what I am doing/saying out of fear or love? If I am being motivated by fear, how do I alleviate that fear? How can I transform that fear into loving words or actions? Jesus summarized this check-in by telling us to love God with all our being and to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:28-31; Matthew 22:34-40; Luke 10:25-28). Commandments so important to the synoptic gospel writers that they all included them in their telling of Jesus’ story. The author of John also lets us know that Jesus gives us a new commandment to love one another and that it is in our love of one another that people will know whose we are (John 13:34-35). John Wesley codified these greatest commandments in the General Rules that are at the very heart of what it means to be United Methodist. Do No Harm. Do Good. Attend Upon All the Ordinances of God (Stay in love with God.) Are our actions or words doing someone harm? Are they doing good? Are they deepening our relationship with God? As we answer these questions truthfully both individually and corporately, we allow the Holy Spirit to shape our lives and show that we are genuinely listening to Jesus with our ears and our hearts.
What does the future look like for Cokesbury United Methodist Church? I cannot answer that question, but I am confident that God is with us and will continue to be with us urging us to listen to Jesus who tells us to get up, to not be afraid, to love God, to love neighbor, and to love one another. It is my sincere hope that Cokesbury UMC is a place where you can experience the love and grace of God for yourself. If that is no longer the case, then my prayer is that you are able to find a church community where you can.
In reflecting on what the Church is being called to be, I cannot help but think of this beautiful stole that Nancy Wiley hand stitched for me. There are 77 figures on it. No two are the same. All are unique. It is a reminder to me that no two of us are alike, yet we are stitched together as one body through God’s Holy Spirit and that God will use us for the in-breaking of God’s kingdom if we let God.
I will end this post with a couple of quotes from the founder of the Methodist movement, John Wesley. These come from his sermon titled, “A Catholic Spirit” which I encourage you to read in its entirety when you get a chance. In it John Wesley asks, “Though we can’t think alike, may we not love alike? May we not be of one heart, though we are not of one opinion?” Love Wesley describes as, “Love me with the love that ‘covereth all things’, that never reveals either my faults or infirmities; that ‘believeth all things’, is always willing to think the best, to put the fairest construction on all my words and actions; that ‘hopeth all things’, either that the thing related was never done, or not done with such circumstances as are related, or, at least, that it was done with a good intention, or in sudden stress of temptation. And hope to the end that whatever is amiss will, by the grace of God, be corrected, and whatever is wanting supplied, through the riches of his mercy in Christ Jesus.” John Wesley concludes his sermon with this plea, “Thou, O man of God, think on these things. If thou art already in this way, go on. If thou hast heretofore mistook the path, bless God who hath brought thee back. And now run the race which is set before thee, in the royal way of universal love. Take heed lest thou be either wavering in thy judgment or straitened in thy bowels. But keep an even pace, rooted in the faith once delivered to the saints and grounded in love, in true, catholic love, till thou art swallowed up in love for ever and ever.”
My prayer for all of us this Lent is that we continue to grow in God’s grace and love until we are able to love as fully as we are loved.
Grace & Peace,
Pastor Bryan
